i dont know when technology got it in its computer that i was to be shunned, but let me tell you folks, its been a long dark, app-less road. i'll admit i blew thru flippy phones during my college years. yes, two were even sacrificed to the porcelain god.
but i don't see why now, in my early mid-twenties (yep), i should still be subjected to machines with a hatestreak.
i suppose it isn't all the phones/laptops/televisions/dvd players/etc.'s fault. there are others to blame. primarily, t-mobile and time warner cable. these two companies have caused me more grief than all of my ex-boyfriends. combined. and if you've been paying attention, thats a helluva lot of grief.
no i dont want to buy a new phone at full price. no i dont want to buy a new phone at half price so that i can be your slave for an additional two years. insurance? why? the deductible is still $150 and you'll send me a refurbished phone. that will inevitably have a technical problem anyway. then of course you'll graciously replace that crapberry with another refurbished crapberry, and on we go, forevermore.
this shouldn't be legal - but i'm sure i signed something stating my full compliance and cooperation anyhow.
amurika.
no i dont want to upgrade to a bundle.. HONESTLY, who uses a landline anymore? oh, its cheaper than just cable + internet by itself? because that makes total sense. no, no, no i dont want a faster internet speed. does it look like i'm running an internet cafe out of my apartment? its just me and my roommate trying to stream shitty nineties sitcoms on netflix. oh and why do channels keep disappearing off our network, did you think i just wouldnt notice that the CW went missing? what do you take me for?
the best part is, that you need one or more device(s) to fix or pay for the others.
oh i cant pay online anymore without a special code? okay, where is the code? oh, of course on the bill you mailed me, except i went paperless 18 months ago, can i switch back to a tree-hating consumer? only if i change my settings online, you say? well isn't that a crafty trick. so i have to call to pay my bill? well that sounds hellish.
meanwhile im stuck without NFL sunday because now CBS, FOX and ABC are also missing. excuse me? i had those channels before i started paying for the curiously mia CW. twould be great to be able to call and complain.. oh wait. good one.. if only you had an online chat helpline.. you do?! well kris my kringle, its a kristmas miracle.
nevermind, "sara" is clearly based out of indonesia and has no ability to grant me online access to my timewarner account... or reboot the channels im paying for. perfection. i think i'll go throw myself off my balcony now. dont worry, im taking my irobots with me. they cant be trusted. gold leader: over and out.
two.
but i don't see why now, in my early mid-twenties (yep), i should still be subjected to machines with a hatestreak.
i suppose it isn't all the phones/laptops/televisions/dvd players/etc.'s fault. there are others to blame. primarily, t-mobile and time warner cable. these two companies have caused me more grief than all of my ex-boyfriends. combined. and if you've been paying attention, thats a helluva lot of grief.
no i dont want to buy a new phone at full price. no i dont want to buy a new phone at half price so that i can be your slave for an additional two years. insurance? why? the deductible is still $150 and you'll send me a refurbished phone. that will inevitably have a technical problem anyway. then of course you'll graciously replace that crapberry with another refurbished crapberry, and on we go, forevermore.
this shouldn't be legal - but i'm sure i signed something stating my full compliance and cooperation anyhow.
amurika.
no i dont want to upgrade to a bundle.. HONESTLY, who uses a landline anymore? oh, its cheaper than just cable + internet by itself? because that makes total sense. no, no, no i dont want a faster internet speed. does it look like i'm running an internet cafe out of my apartment? its just me and my roommate trying to stream shitty nineties sitcoms on netflix. oh and why do channels keep disappearing off our network, did you think i just wouldnt notice that the CW went missing? what do you take me for?
the best part is, that you need one or more device(s) to fix or pay for the others.
oh i cant pay online anymore without a special code? okay, where is the code? oh, of course on the bill you mailed me, except i went paperless 18 months ago, can i switch back to a tree-hating consumer? only if i change my settings online, you say? well isn't that a crafty trick. so i have to call to pay my bill? well that sounds hellish.
then my phone dies. for no reason. oh wait, yes. i remember why - its a refurbished pos.
nevermind, "sara" is clearly based out of indonesia and has no ability to grant me online access to my timewarner account... or reboot the channels im paying for. perfection. i think i'll go throw myself off my balcony now. dont worry, im taking my irobots with me. they cant be trusted. gold leader: over and out.

No comments:
Post a Comment